New Year

I would say, i didn't like the first minute of 2009, it was shitty till no end okay. But the following few hours of 2009 i would say was fun, interesting though, but fun.

And no, i am not at all excited to start 2009. I haven't even done my hw. Oh screw it la.



+ It's my grandmama's birthday today :D yay! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA (!!) as if you'll read this but anyway, my grandmama- i love, i love :)





Anw, if i feel happy i'll post pictures!! :) maybe later i guess. I hope you had a good start to the shitty New Year :) cya byeeeeeee


xoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxxo




don't come any closer, don't tell me its over,
don't kiss me goodbye

Be the one + 17 forever

I don't wanna be the one,
only overjoyed.


Like wth la, ting tings are stuck in my head hahaha.
Tmr is 2009, sucks tht time passes so fast.
I can only vaguely remember what happened in 2008.
Mostly laughter, tears and friendships though,
AND, i'm beginning to realise tht i've lost someone,

someone whom i've always held close to my heart.


And I'm like, wth(!?), screw you period.
Seriously kay. Its like what- how many years alr?
And then you suddenly just leave me.
So, my reation would obviously be my reaction right.


Okay nvm whatever. I have severed all ties with you that have something to do with being bestfriends/closefriends or wtv.




We're one mistake from being together,
but lets not ask why its not right

camp

Okay nvm i couldn't sleep. Camp was great, yes it was HAHA. And yeah obviously i started out damn negatively la but anyway God blessed me with sue anne and dayna and a damn funny and weird group so i was relatively enjoying myself :D ahah and the last worship was great. +++ I met new friends! yayyay! Haha kay.

Oh, did i mention i love my iTouch? I LOVE MY ITOUCH :D not as much as i love pink, period. But anyway hahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahaha.

My speech is incoherent alr. And i'm coughing like mad. I'm gonna kill N tmr.




oooooooooooo bel

Camp + shag

OMG KAY OYS OYS OYS I FEEL SO SHAG, SO STONE. And i really need to sleep. Haha. Anyway, camp was good.. my group was awesome, and the games were fun. But there was something missing though. Like, some big part of my church life wasn't there. And i felt so lonely looking around people i didn't know v.well. It was sad though, srsly.

Anyway, i shall tell you more like tmr. Cuz i'm gonna bathe, eat and sleep. Goodnight! :D




How can i keep from singing your praise,
How can i ever say enough,
How amazing is your love



xoxooooxx, bel

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oys k. Someone grab me and tie me to a tree.




paramore's decode makes so much sense now


It's just sad. That i had to find out from my own ()
You'd tell him and not me?
Yeah you'd think I'd probably be laughing my ass of at the foolishness of everything.
It actually kinda hurts you know.

Camp

I'm heading to camp tmr (Unfortunately)
And like, for the first time, Mich is not going to be there (!@#$)

And and and, tht thought really fills me up with dread.


I'm gonna like try touching my turtle and then eating a cookie with the same pair of hands (like i have any other) and then start convulsing and throwing up. Yeah.

Or you can gimme a less disgusting way to pon camp, thank you v.v.v.much.
(But i rather doubt it)


+I haven't packed for camp and it's tmr. damn.


:(


Anw, its like 9 now and i'm gonna catch a show with my family at cathay. I think I'll post at 1am and tell you how's the packing going. (That is, if my falling-sick-schemes fail or smth)



CUMMON, WORK YOUR BRAINS AND TELL ME HOW TO FALL SICK.



no xo's today :( Bel feels dreadful :(

CHRISTMAS (duhh)

MERRY PINK CHRISTMAS (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) :D :D :D




LOTS of LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE from BEL!!
yay!!


+++ i'm so glad i spent my first few moments of Christmas with the people who will be there with/for me for the rest of my v.v.v.long life(!), to come :) :) :)

HAHAHA and and and i realised i'm getting really nice stuff this christmas! yay even the small ones do count!!!!!!!!!! hahahaha and i got really high just now. i was just shouting "LETS PLAY STRIP POKER, LETS PLAY STRIP 21" to my v.bemused 12 year old cousin.


Have you ever seen me high? Its some sight HAHAHAHA. Nobody has i think. Only my cousins. I know some ppl have heard me get high but hahaha that's not the full parcel hon :D

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PINK CHRISTMAS IS A TIME FOR EXCLAMATION MARKS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!







notice how i've used so many (!) in this post. I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE CHRISTMAS AND I LOVE GOD. :D !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHA YAY YAY YAY.



okay i'm gonna sleep.
MERRY PINK CHRISTMAS (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)





X!O!X!O! BEL LOVES YOU, HUGS AND KISSES AND ALL

Change

Oh yeah and i almost forgot what i wanted to say- change.


Change has secretly crept up into my life and suprised me at different moments. No, change is not good for me. In fact, change sucks actually. I hate change. Period.

Infact, i hate change so much its like change is in a bubble and there's bullets with 'BEL' on them coming in all directions aiming at the small bubble (that makes a great difference though its small, mind you). And i've got a list of Hokkien curse words lined up waiting for them to be released at change.


Change change change. Why the hell do we need change. Everything is perfect normal/fine until change comes. Okay i'll be fair, change has also led me to some of the best moments in life, change has brought me to the best people in my life that i love, change has its upside too. BUT, i still hate change.


!@#$ change. byebye.

(ps: idk why !@#$ is a link, seriously. Go try typing tht in blogger. It like automatically changes! Cool. SEE I USED THE WORD CHANGE -.-)

Daphne loves Derby

Oys kay. I am so gonna get Daphne loves Derby album. Or someone just buy it for me :(
They are like the best music to hear when you're feeling mellow.
No, they are the best. period.

:D


haha anyway tmr/today (it's 12+ now) is Christmas Eve. Wth la Christmas is coming so fast. Then comes Christmas then comes school. I will not talk about school. It ruins my mood. period.


I find that i like using period. Its nice. period. :D




Don't come any closer, don't tell me its over,
don't kiss me goodbye




Merry Christmas EVE :D hahaha i'll be back on Christmas :D
lylyly(!!!!!!!!!!)




xxoxxoxxxoox

New Year's Resolution

Okay like, i have this NY's resolution, which i haven't told anyone. Okay actually i have whatever. () and () don't tell anyone what's my NY resolution kay. zzz it just kinda slipped outta my mouth like 'oh i have this NY resolution blahblahblah'. Kay anyway, i shall not digress and continue. And then right, this NYR is like close to impossible la. Urgh i just screwed myself for making tht NYR. Yeah, i'm like that- stupid.

Homework

Okay, i found my hw file like under piles of clothes (i don't even know what it was doing in my cupboard but oh shit)- and i'm like shit shit shit shit shit now. Homework is just boring crap okay. It spoils my mood, my day, it spoils everything. OYS KAY. how i hate this rant. Okay whatever- we'll see if i can finish it by tmr, we'll see.

William Beckett

WILLIAM BECKETT PUTS THE SEX IN SEXY.

hot hot hot hot hot.

I'm not starstruck- no,

but i'm in love with william beckett. and his songs. and his band.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Summer hair = Forever young

I'LL NEVER LET YOU GO,
DON'T EVER FORGET,
TELL ME YOU REMEMBER, FOREVER YOUNG.

I'LL NEVER LET YOU FALL,
ITS NOT OVER YET,
YOU AND ME FOREVER, FOREVER YOUNG.




the bass is some awesome shit

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I can't be bothered anymore.

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i am displaced

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Like i've said, i have literally no intention of knowing what you're up to this time, and seriously, i actually have no intention whatsoever to know you anymore. But whatever- do what you like, when you like it. I can't say i don't care cuz' (duh) i still do, but prob not so much. Close to not at all kay. So back off- and leave me alone. I'm pissed and you're it.

Curls

And who said curls spoil your hair (!?)
Merry Christmas loves!

From a very happy and satisfied bel,
WITH CURLS(!!) oh yeahhhhh.




oxxxx

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Sometimes, i just don't get some stuff- why things happen.. etc.
And maybe, just maybe (with a capital M), i still like you (M.M.M)
But it's hard to tell, really.
Apart from everything else in my heart, the only outstanding emotion would be-

A loss of love(?)


Then again, screw me for thinking too much, again.


---------------------------------------------------


On a lighter note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY KONG JIA XUAN.
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU :D

AND PLEASE, OYS, TAG MY BLOG (!!)
my tagboard misses you like shit(!!!)


hahaha, anyway thank you for being there for me, when no one else was, thank you for listening to my crap and complains and dealing with my v.v.v. xiao qi-ness, thank you for the locked part of your brain that has private and confidential info tht's from me to you (which you didn't tell anyone so tyvm!) and thank you for bearing with all my teasings and moodswings, and thank you for just being my friend. A close one, at that. And it really means alot, to me. Most trustworthy friend of all time, period. :D WORK HARD NEXT YEAR DUMDUM. HAHAHAHAHA. BEL WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU :D


so happy birthday xuanxuan! (HAHA)



ps: stop having your period everyday la :D






xoxo

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She's the cutest baby, ever, period.

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pos, shit blogger la. I can't post pics. Too big, apparently. Nvm, we have an alternative :D PHOTOBUCKET :D haha kay lets see

OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT, GO TO HELL PHOTOBUCKET. YOU SUCK EQUALLY AND AS MUCH AS BLOGGER DOES.




BOTH OF YOU INFURIATE ME.




ox for EVERYONE EXCEPT BLOGGER AND PHOTOBUCKET (!@#$)

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500th post


I'm starting to feel
All of my bruises imagined are real
And I'll get through each day
I dig through the bad ones
To get to the good ones
Who's keeping score anyway?

And this is my beautiful life
only thing certain is everything changes
The lows and the highs
And all those goodbyes
As hard as it gets I know it's still amazing
To be alive
It's a beautiful life

I talk in my sleep
Thats the one place i know no one can hear me
I tell myself things
Don't walk in the shadows
There's always tomorrow
And I'm right where i wanna be

And this is my beautiful life
only thing's certain is everything changes
The lows and the highs
And all those goodbyes
As hard as it gets I know it's still amazing
To be alive

It hurts while it's happening
I wanna feel everything
How can you know till you try?
And this is my beautiful life

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Haha okay you know what, i love blogging. Hahaha, and screw it if no one reads my blog. I still feel a sense of satisfaction. Or something. Okay whatever. Anyway,


i was feeling really, really, really really, you cannot believe how
d
..o
....w
......n

i felt. Hhaha its 1am now la so don't blame me if i'm lame/incoherent.


WHO ARE YOU TO CARE ANYWAY.


Nvm. I've been getting short outburst of weird emotions lately. Ah my moodswings are coming back HAHA. Anyway, as i was saying,

so in the end i went to listen to the badger song and the banna phone song and the llama song and i started laughing my ass off.


HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A LLAMA KISS A LLAMA ON THE LLAMA



HAHAH

and then there's the OBAMA V. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN OBAMA KISS OBAMA ON OBMAMA




oys kay. I laughed until i started crying hysterically. I'm gonna download the songs into my ipod :D


+ idk what i'm doing up so late. Haha btw my posts don't show the time but its 1.18am now. HAHA. Oh and i'm suppose to post like pictures from M'sia but i shall do tht tmr! (or today whichever whatever) haha anyway their damn funny.

and if i'm feeling kind, i'd might actually post up a picture of the face

HAHA. And i know most of you don't know what i'm talking about. ITS OKAY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO KNOW, KPO.


:)



bad bad moodswings. hahahahahaha.
okay. i'm gonna head to bed. HAHA I RYHMED.






oh and guess what, i've decided not to alr.
Cuz it's scary, and embarrassing,
and i haven't sat down and had a

good, hard, long talk with my feelings.

(i've been trying to run away from that for a v.v.v long time)

So forgive me. Ah screw it. You don't even know anyway.






OKAY INCOHERENT BEL.



oooooooooooox bel

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this holday has been so shag,
and wth, i've been thinking,





thinking so much about you

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i feel so, so bloody tired. damn, i'm gonna sleep.
M'sia has been fun, still fun, prob gonna head back tmr.


haha and Christmas songs has been stuck in my head.
I bought the Relient K rock version of Christmas songs,
and it rocks. Best album i've ever bought this year(!)



haha srsly it's damn nice kay.


what's a partridge, and what's a pear tree,
i don't know so please don't ask me



okay anyway,
today has been so shag.
im gonna sleep alr.
cya







xxxo bel




No, i don't think i'm ready for you to re-enter back into my life.
It's another round, yet again.

AND, they don't know how spiteful their words are,
and how trapped we feel.

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Okay i'm in M'sia now. Kinda hot, drizzled a bit. anyway, i'm here to promote a game, and i know its old but

I LOVE ICY TOWER

Srsly okay, it's damn addictive and THE DOWNLOAD IS FREEEEEE. + if you play, i can teach you hw to download new characters :D:D ahahaha.

ps: my highest combo is 50+ beat that :D :D hahahaha okay. and uh, this hotel has broadband but must pay but anw, yeahhhhh i'm paying for it so you ppl better download :D

pps: sylvia i replied alr. faster reply me!

ppps: I LIKE VICO. google it.

xxxxxxoo, bel

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oys SYLVIA. By the time you're reading this, i'm seriously gonna be in M'sia alr. And i don't think i can read your text there. So, PLEASE EMAIL ME OR TEXT MY DAD OR SOMETHING. I REALLY WANNA KNOW WHY :D Haha and shit me la for checking my phone so late.

BLAH I HATE MY CURIOUSITY. IT KILLS ME. And i blame myself for checking the phone so late, now i don't think i can sleep wth. Oys SHIITING HELL. WHAT A HELL OF AN A'HOLE NIGHT TONIGHT WILL BE.



haha off to M'sia, back soon




xxxxxxx bel

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Okay. So, i caught twilight today. Supposedly it had better audio and visual, but it was really good. Kinda diff from the book though, but it was so worth the money, like hello 6 bucks. And we really enjoyed ourselves in the v.angmor infested cinema. (i think) they kept screaming 'I LOVE TWILIGHT' from their seats and all the other chinese went 'SHUT UP'. It was so hectic.

haha + when Edward was gonna kiss Bella, one of the angmors went 'I wanna shoot her' in the angmorish accent.


Okay i'm rambling. Anyway, so i shopped and we found colourful sexbands (+red&pink) so today was quite worth it. Most of the stuff tht we bought were a steal and $ wasn't at all wasted (i think) but anyway it was an enjoyable day :)




Leaving for M'sia soon, need anything?

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I've been thinking. Yes i know, i always do.. sometimes, too much. And i realised, i was/still am really scared about the future ahead of me. Makes me feel like i've been walking on some never ending road and there's always a mist/fog infront of me which scares me, really does.


Non of em' have worked out as long, idk if this one will either. Truth be told, i'm not at all excited to continue it, there are.. people/bitches who are so against it. But i'm just glad that its you and not anyone else that i'll be braving life with then.




This is so stupid- i've never been scared of my future

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i find it so hard to breathe now

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So I'm waiting for this test to end
So these lighter days can soon begin
I'll be alone but maybe more carefree
Like a kite that floats so effortlessly
I was afraid to be alone

Now I'm scared thats how I'd like to be
All these faces none the same
How can there be so many personalities
So many lifeless empty hands
So many hearts in great demand

And now my sorrow seems so far away
Until I'm taken by these bolts of pain
But I turn them off and tuck them away
'till these rainy days that make them stay

And then I'll cry so hard to these sad songs
And the words still ring, once here now gone
And they echo through my head everyday
And I dont think they'll ever go away



But i'm about to give this one more shot

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okay. this is gonna be one of my VERY RARE LIMITED EDITION (V.) HAPPY POST!

yes i know, i'm roughly almost never happy but, haha when the people whom you oh-so-very-much-love the most gives you the best of the best time ever, you can't just help but feel smiley and all cheerful.


AND I SHALL NOT GIVE YOU THE SATISFACTION IN TELLING YOU WHAT I DID TODAY. BUT I HAD FUN, YES.


i had loads of fun. in fact, today was like, fast. Like.. it just wooshed past me without me knowing and then i find myself on the way home in the mrt, thinking about how the day felt like.. an hour or so.



haha it's been long, yes it has, since i've felt this kinda :) :) :) :D



but when life hooks you up with the best friends ever, you can't refuse, no.
so to () and () who have made this day, a day to be remembered!,

i do love you guys :)
+ today was lovely, thank you :D




An hour feels like a 5 minutes,
a day feels like an hour.
Pause, Rewind, And Play Again,
This is going into a part of my heart.

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ps: see this is what happens when you post your day on the blog. You'd have to edit it if anything goes wrong. For me, i mean.

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EDIT

Okay guess what. My date with the past has been cancelled.
My dear twenty-something year old teacher,
forgot tht she was a muslim and was celebrating Hari Raya tmr.


yaozaaaboombaambeeeeemlololololpopopopohoghobhonhod.


/EDIT

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I wish i could bubble wrap my heart;

in case i fall, and break apart

I've always longed to be free,
free of everything i've ever been held captive by.


And now, for something i've not done in a long long time,
i shall tell you about my haven't-ended-day.

I finally went for service after like, 2 months?
(8weeks really, when you think about it)
haha. and i have to say.. it was boring and monotonous and i'm sorry.
but really, it was.
AND IM SORRY.

I've figured i'll change church when i hit 16,
that is if ()
ANYWAY.

then after tht i cabbed with cassendra to novena yadayada,
and then i went to fareast to get celine's sexbands


and now i'm home, it's 3 and i have piano at 5,
and then im going out with my family to eat cuz my maid's sick.
(!!) i know.


haha i'll be off to m'sia this sat,
miss me yes! i heard the hotel has broadband though.
heh heh i'll be on some crazy super-bel buying spree.

shop till i drop maaaaaaaaaan, that's life.




anyway, i have a date with the past tmr!
it's time to meet, greet, and critisize!
and of cuz gossip and laugh and talk and oh-what not.


okay my eyes are itchy now.
xxlalasxx seems like such a fond memory.

im incoherent :D


cya!

xxxxoo bel




ps : SYLVIA, LET'S GO BUBBLEWRAP OUR HEARTS

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What did you learn today,
I learned nothing

What did you do today,
I did nothing

What did you learn at school,
I didn't go-o

Why didn't you go to school,
I don't know

It's cool, to know nothing
It's cool, to know nothing

-----------------------------------------


i keep keep finding myself thinking about how fast the year has passed.
and damn, it's Christmas alr!

and i'm so running low on self-esteem and happiness
my personal batt has die-ded and there's no one to charge me up
(okay that sounds wrong).

whichever and whatever,
desperate housewives IS a trashy show but oh- susan is so dreadfully stupid.
and the rest are all.. scandalous.

i need more love!
and that's why my goal by the next year is to
()


IF YOU'RE SMART YOU CAN GUESS IT :D


Merry X'mas and a dreafully new year,

with all the love i can muster,
xxxx bel

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Do you remember me
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you
With childhood fantasies

Well, I'm all grown up now
And still need help somehow
I'm not a child
But my heart still can dream

So here's my lifelong wish
My grown up christmas list
Not for myself
But for a world in need

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal the heart
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end oh,
This is my grown up Christmas list

As children we believed
The grandest sight to see
Was something lovely
Wrapped beneath the tree

But heaven only knows
That packages and bows
Can never heal
A hurting human soul

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
Oh, This is my grown up christmas list

What is this illusion called the innocence of youth
Maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end, oh
This is my grown up christmas list
This is my only life long wish
This is my grown up christmas list





i know my christmas list
i want you.

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It's the first of december.
December.

Christmas, Camp, School.
It's like deja vu.



but now i feel,
like i've taken

one step forward and 2 steps back.


feels so dumb man.
desperate housewives has replaced friends for the time being.








ITS LIKE 1 STEP FORWARD AND 2 STEPS BACK,


theory of a deadman

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i'm hiatus-ing until i can set my heart, and thoughts
straight.





-


Xo,

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1) The person who tagged you?
Joy

2) Your relationship with her?
my long time good friend!

3) Impression?
JOYFUL

4) Most memorable thing she said for you?
words on cards tht she gave me on my birthdays!

5) The most memorable thing she did for you?
send me all my zilian pics :D


6) If she's your lover, what does she need to improve on?
im -
(straight)

7) If she becomes your enemy?
eh. no comment. i'll pray

8) What do you wanna tell her now?
heyy joy, thanks for today :)

9) Your overall impression of her?
joyful

10) How do you think the people around you feel bout you?
v. pink

11) What I love about myself
i love pink

12) On the contrary, what I hate bout myself?
eh. too kaypoh.

13) What's the most ideal person I wanna be?
ISABEL TAN YI EN. SHE'S.. IDEAL

14) What do you wanna say to those who love and care for you?
HELLO.

15) tag 10 ppl


1 KONG. JIA. XUAN. (damn create a blog!)

2 CELINE TAN ze SEE-THERE-RIAN

3 SYLVIA

4 Hazel! mrs tan eh :D

5 SARAH NG!

6 Amanda! (:

7 PRISSY PRIS PRIS

8 Mich! (doubt you'd be reading this though)

9 EUNICE :D

10 ALVINA! :D :D


16)Who is 6 having a relationship with?
eh. me. jerk and bitch :D

17) Is 9 a male or a female?
female!

18) If 7 and 10 are together?
eh? HAHAHAHA I'LL LAUGH MY ASS OFF. seriously.

19) What is 2 studying about?
eh. how to be as pretty and beautiful and smart as bel

20) When was the last time you chatted with 3?
uhm. lemme see. YESTERDAY. and we weren't chatting. we were shouting HAHA.

21) What kind of music genre does 8 like?
eh. old love songs and dancy music!

22) Siblings for 6?
2 bros!
23) Will you who 3?
THANK YOU JOY THT YOUR QUIZ'S WORD IS WHO NO WOO. and i can't answer this cuz it doesn't make sense! :D

24) How bout 7?
can't ans this either!

25) Surname of 5?
NG xiao jie.

26) Is 4 single?
no, she's married to me. gay relationship hello?

27) 10's hobby?
SHOPPING. WITH ME :D

28) Which school is 2 studying at?
see-there secondary!

29) Something bout 1?
HAHA SO MANY THINGS. SHE IS DUMB AND FUNNY.

30) Ever tried to develop feelings for 8?
she belongs with D-D-DA-AHEM AHEM :D

31) Where does 9 live?
serangoon! <33

32) 4 favourite colour?
eh. i would presume black and red!

33) Are 1 and 5 friends?
yeah. I THINK. actually no. but they know each other exists! :D

34) Does 1 have pets?
yeah. some pet bird name BABY. kidding. toaster. her dog who hates me.

35) Is 7 the sexiest person in the world?
HAHA HMMM LET'S SEE HMM HMM HMM YES LA :D

36) What is 10 doing now?
smsing me :D

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---------------------------------------------



oys okay.
i hate caterpillars.
i hate hate hate them.
other than the fact that they were my first learnt long-spelling-word,
i HATE THEM.



Even looking their pictures makes me squirm.
Eeeeew, seriously.




ANYWAYYYYYYYY,
look and read!



"If you were a burger at McDonald's you'd be the McGorgeous."

"Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got FINE written all over you."

"Somebody needs to call the bomb squad, because you're the bomb!"

"If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas."

" What do you and the weather have in common? You're both Hot! "

" Can you take me to the bakery? Because, I want a Cutiepie like you! "

" Did the sun come up or did you just smile at me? "



and the lamest and stupidest and funniest


" Is your last name Gillette? Because you’re the best a man can get."

haha i think its so funny.

don't you?

:D

bel loves you!

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THIS POST IS DEDICATED TO KONG JIA XUAN, SONIC XUAN, XUAN XUAN WHO KINDA LOOKS LIKE THE FAT GUY AT THE BOTTOM.

DID I MENTION? SHE OWNS A DOG CALLED TOASTER AND HE KINDA LOOKS LIKE THE OTHER TALL FREAK STANDING NEXT TO HER.



LALALALALALALAL,

MOVING ON,



KONG JIA XUAN CAN MEMORISE THE DEFINATION OF OSMOSIS,
SHE CAN PLAY BEN10 ON CARTOONNETWORK.COM
SHE CAN TALK RUBBISH AND SHE CANNOT THINK,

AND MY LIST ENDS HERE BECAUSE I DON'T THINK SHE CAN DO ANYTHING ELSE.



BUT,
SHE MAKES ME HAPPY,
SHE MAKES ME LAUGH AND SMILE,
AND SHE REMINDS ME OF SOME KINDA SHIT THAT HAS A SMILEY FACE AND GOES HOHOHO I AM KONG JIA XUAN.



AND DID I MENTION? I LOVE HER TO BITS.
YES THIS IS NOT A LIE
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.



AND THAT'S HER EVIL TWIN BELOW,
XUAN JIA KONG.

and that's her pet cat, belrocks.

YES HER CAT IS CALLED BELROCKS.

i love her and i know you do too!

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okay, this is gonna be one of my long ranting posts.
and i just came back from dance, so i'm stinky and unclean,
and totally not in the right mood to blog.

but, i really need some place to rant right now.
and i'm very disturbed, cranky and grumpy so to speak,
because i slept at 4 watching friends (did i tell you i bought season 7 & 10!!!)
and i had to wake up at 8, which i obviously did not,
and woke up at 9 instead, when hb was at 930.

woah.
okay.
AND, I AM LITERALLY BROKE. GET THAT.
THAT'S WHY I'M FEELING SO INCOHERENT (can i actually feel that?)
(yes i can)
and, i had some weird thought to shave my head BALD.



BUT, OBVIOUSLY YOU CAN'T IMAGINE ME BALD.
BALD BEL.
so not, really.


and did i mention, i love the roxy perfume,
my aunt bought me for my v.v.v. belated bday present.
it.. conjures up beaches and the salty sea and soft sand.

really. i love the smell.
i can't leave house without it.



okay, you know what?
if you were me, you'd have bathed and worn your nightgown alr.
so, bel!? why the hello are you still dirty, and unchanged?





.. hence, i have come to the end of my highly unsignificant ramble.
If you're still reading till here,
you deserve a kiss from bel.
or maybe just a hug.
whichever, minty fresh breath and her highness is going to bathe.



HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA.
yo wassup', i am COOL B.
I AM ORAL B.

COOL RIGHT,
ORAL BEL HAHAHAAHAHAHAHA.


MY HAIR IS SO IRRITATING AND IT SMELLS NICE.
I LOVE MY PINK ONES.

WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.


xoxo, cyaaa!








lalalalalala, life is, wonderful,
and beverly hills chihuahua is the awesomest.


DUM DUM DUM DUMDUM CHIHUAHUA! (pronounced as chi-wa-wa)

okay i have to go now.
wait i said that alr.






CHIHUAHUA!

Post

i can just laugh at my stupidity.



I wish I could Bubble Wrap my heart,
In case I fall and break apart,
I'm not God, I can't change the stars,
And I don't know if there's life on Mars,
But I know you're hurt,
People that you love and those who care for you,
I want nothing to do with the things you're going through.

This is the last time,
I give up this heart of mine,
I'm telling you that I'm
A broken man who's finally realised.
You're standing in moonlight,
But you're black on the inside,
Who do you think you are to cry?
This is goodbye.

I'm a little dazed and confused,
Life's a bitch and so are you.
All my days have turned into nights,
'Cause living without, without, without you in my life.
And you wrote the book on how to be a liar,
And lose all your friends,
Did I mean nothing at all?
Was I just another ghost that's been in your bed?

'Cause this is the last time,
I give up this heart of mine,
I'm telling you that I'm
A broken man who's finally realised.
You're standing in moonlight,
But you're black on the inside,
Who do you think you are to cry?
This is goodbye.

Yeah!
Turn on the radio honey,
'Cause every single sad song you'll be able to relate!
This one I dedicate.
Whoa oh!
Don't get all emotional baby,
You can never talk to me, you're unable to communicate!!!!!!!!!


This is the last time,
I give up this heart of mine,
I'm telling you that I'm
A broken man who's finally realised...

This is the last time,
I give up this heart of mine,
I'm telling you that I'm
A broken man who's finally realised.
You're standing in moonlight,
But you're black on the inside,
Who do you think you are to cry?
This is goodbye.

This is goodbye.








ho hum <3
it's been a long, long time :D

never felt better,
God, ily.

Post

this song, is beautiful

MY FAVOURITE SONG, EVER.



underneath the moon, underneath the stars
heres a little heart for you
up above the world, up above it all
heres a hand to hold on to

but if i should break, if i should fall away
what am i to do?
i need someone to take, a little of the weight
or ill fall through


you're just the one that i've been waiting for
i'll give you all that i have to give and more
but dont let me fall

take a little time, walk a little line
got the balance right
give a little love, gimme just enough
so that i can hang on tight

we will be alright, ill be by your side
i wont let you down
but i gotta know, no matter how things go
that you will be around


Don’t let me fall

underneath the moon, underneath the stars
here’s a little heart for you
up above the world, up above it all
here’s a hand to hold on to


you'll be the one that I’ll love forever more
ill be here holding you high above it all
but don’t let me fall

Post

TO ANY () : EVERYTHING ABOUT ME SCREAMS PINK

Post

I loved you; and perhaps in love's dead embers,

Not quite extinguished, some few sparks remain.

Let it not fret you if your heart remembers:

I would not cause you grief, or give you pain.

I loved you hopelessly, confession fleeting,

Now far too jealous, now too shy to tell.

With all my heart i loved you, all my being-

God grant another love you half so well.


I loved you - bel

haha nice right! i like my poem :D
zzzzzzzzzz



HELLO JIAXUAN.
IS THAILAND NICE?
BUY ME A PINK BANGLE WOULD YOU PLEASE.
THANK YOU AND I LOVE YOU V.MUCH.


COME HOME SOON!
TOASTER IS SCOLDING YOU BEHIND YOUR BACK,
FOR LEAVING HIM ALL ALONE.


:(



HAHA BAD BABA.
COME BACK!
WE GO SENTOSA TGTH!







Tongue tied, and overloaded

Post

i thought i knew me the best,
simply because, i was me.
and me being me,
would not still be hanging on,

losing grip.


and my thoughts being, well, mine,
wouldn't keep having you popping up in them like,
every hour or so..



so i have concluded that i don't know me,
and this me that is me now,
is not me. it is infact a stranger,
like many others WHO ARE NOT AT ALL LIKE ME,
cuz the "me" inside me, is smittened with you.

there i said it.



oh damn.
damn damn damn.
damn you bel,
damn you bel.



i mean, the unknown bel inside me now.

bel is not bel at all, at the moment.






hold your head high, heavy heart

Post

God knows why i'm still sticking with you.
I can't even count how many people you've affected.

I feel sorry. For everyone. Including us. Including you. Including me.
Maybe, it isn't your fault. Just maybe. Who's fault can it be then?






oys k. i feel like dying.

Post

Happy birthday sylvia, i think that picture is rather nice!

although sometimes you're so slow i can just yawn,

and although sometimes you're like the most fickle person, ever, period.

still, i will miss everything(: yes i will.

and you know, Joy, Priscilla and Amanda have all asked me what is oys.

OYS OYS OYS dont tell! :D

love,

bel

Post

LAST NIGHT OYS. was relatively fun.

never knew () and () could get along SO WELL hahaha
like,

from serangoon to hougang to dover, the phone call was such a blast.



sore throats and colds were past through electrical phone wires
and i, bel, was falling asleep with the sound of bickering
AHAAHA


and laughing at the same time too.


they are so stupid okay

i asked this IQ question




"A PEACOCK LAID ITS EGGS ON TOP OF A MOUNTAIN, WHICH SIDE WOULD IT ROLL DOWN? LEFT OR RIGHT OR WHATEVER"?



and omg they couldn't give me the answer.
i bet jx also cannot :D

i hope she didn't see that ^

hahahahahahahha.






hold your head high, heavy heart

Post

I'M NOT IN LOVE, THIS IS NOT MY HEART, I'M NOT GONNA WASTE THESE WORDS, ABOUT A GIRL

Post

I see your face in my mind as I drive away
'Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way
People are people and sometimes we change our minds
But it's killing me to see you go after all this time
Mmm...mmm...Mmm...mmm

Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie
It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see
'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down
Now I don't know what to be without you around


And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me
You're the only thing I know, like the back of my hand
And I can't...
Breathe without you, but I have to
Breathe without you, but I have to

Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt
Every little bump in the road I try to swerve
People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out



It's 2am, feeling like I just lost a friend
Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me
And it's 2am, feeling like I just lost a friend
Hope you know this ain't easy, easy for me...

And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me
Oh...

I can't breathe without you, but I have to
Breathe without you, but I have to

Sorry, sorry, sorry, yeah, sorry
Sorry, sorry, sorry....

Post

i didn't let go, you did.
and i feel like i'm losing you,
so distant, so distant

Post

dedicated to kong jia xuan, xuan xuan, sonic xuan.

I TOUCHED THE DAISO ORANGE BOARD.
THERE. IS. NO. ELECTRICITY.



AND YOU CAN'T "OFF" THE "ELECTRICITY".


:D

Post

Post

i guess i have to say,
i was too quick to judge,
i was too afraid to lose,
i was too stupid to think so much.

whatever it is,
i'm sorry, to anyone i've hurt.
okay maybe sometime in the future,
that sorry would seem like crap to me,

but i'll get over it.
and i'm trying not to bear grudges or anything
and forgiving and forgetting is really fucking hard.
+ i'm not a very nice person sometimes

but, heyy, i'll try my best yeah?
and i love everyone of you who has gone into my life.
and whether or not you hate me, love me, are going to leave me,
i have to say, thank you for bearing with me(:

Post

Well I'll hide all the bruises; I'll hide all the damage that's done
But I show how I'm feeling until the feeling has gone

Post

I chose not to care, i chose to give up.

Post

okay.
I think i've mia-ed for too long, eh?
haha its time to come back and blog some understandable posts.

i need someone to go out with me tmr! its the only free day of my week :D




I MISSYA! COME BACK SOON! love! x2



okay i know this is a little late,
but



to 2.1, thank you for the memories. Sitted in a vague circle, blantly talking about our fond childhood shows, games, days.. and laughing over the silliest and simplest things - i realised tht i didn't need the high life to be happy, and bigger isn't always better, and sometimes only friends can make us the happiest.

you guys have shown me the kind of love i won't easily forget, here's to 2 years, and the last time we'll be this way.



I'm sorry i can't steal you, i'm sorry i can't stay.
So i'll put bandaids on your knees, and watch you fly away.






I look into the sky
And I have to ask why
She'd go and leave me
Oh, why do feelings have to die
Is it all just a sign
Of what its meant to be

Well I'm just too excited
The end of this can be sighted
She's overdue for a breakout
I better go, she blows my brains out
Silence is a scary sound


I'm torn up inside
There's a hole on my mind
When you're not next to me
So I hope you choke and die
On every single lie
Let you feel what you've done to me

come back now!

Post

off to V, back soon (:



xoxo

Post

Today is so hard i can just bloody kill myself.
oh no wait, i can't kill myself cuz i'll go to hell

AND THAT SUCKS



What's the point of living anyway,
love, laughter, pink,

they all just fade away after time.
nothing lasts forever and that really sucks.


I don't even know how i'm still gonna carry on,
and i don't even think i can.

Maybe i should just give up.
Eternal hell, doesn't seem so bad compared to my

current state of life, no?




sometimes goodbye
though it hurts, in your heart,
is the only way for destiny





gah fuck this.
i'll miss everything,

i'll fucking miss everything.
and i love you, really, i do.


b()f()f()?







I never could have seen this far
I never could have seen this coming
It seems like my world is falling apart
Yeah

Why is everything so hard
I don’t think that I can deal with the things you said
They just won’t go away

In a perfect world
This could never happen
In a perfect world
You’d still be here
And it makes no sense
I could just pick up the pieces But to you
this means nothing, Nothing at all

I used to think that I was strong
Until the day it all went wrong
I think I need a miracle to make it through
Yeah

I wish that I could bring you back
I wish that I could turn back time
Cuz I can’t let go
I just can’t find my way
Yeah
Without you I just can’t find my way

In a perfect world
This could never happen
In a perfect world
You’d still be here
And it makes no sense
I could just pick up the pieces But to you
this means nothing, Nothing at all

I don’t know what I should do now
I don’t know where I should go
I’m still here waiting for you
I’m lost when your not around
I need to hold on to you
I just can’t let you go
Yeah Yeah

In a perfect world
This could never happen
In a perfect world
You’d still be here
And it makes no sense
I could just pick up the pieces But to you
this means nothing, Nothing at all

You feel nothing
Nothing at all
Nothing at all

Post

So clear silver moon
Wind moves through my room
Memories of Saturday (memories of Saturday)
Slight turn of the head
Eyes down when she said
She's going away
Going away
I need to know this

Am I the fool
Am I a victim
I'd rather know
You'd rather kiss him
Goodnight, tonight
I'm blinded
I try, I tried
Is this the way ,
Is this the way it ends

Dark echo's inside
Can't sleep through the night
All the words I heard you say (memories of Saturday)
Fade of the yard
Lay under the stars
Stuck down in this place
Hands on my face
I need to know this

Am I the fool
Am I a victim
I'd rather know
You'd rather kiss him
Goodnight, tonight
I'm blinded
I try, I tried
Is this the way ,
Is this the way it ends

Get up chase the vision
Stand up watch the world go by
Aha Aha
You found
Feel the reason
Black clouds are filling up my sky
Aha Aha

Am I the fool
Am I a victim
I'd rather know
You'd rather kiss him

Am I the fool
Am I a victim
I'd rather know
You'd rather kiss him
Goodnight, tonight
I'm blinded
I try, I tried
Is this the way ,
Is this the way it ends

Am I the fool
Am I a victim
I'd rather know
You'd rather kiss him
Goodnight, tonight
I'm blinded
I try, I tried
Is this the way ,
Is this the way it ends








2 more days baby,
just 2 more days

Post

You're the words that come out easy,
And I am speechless at best.
Your star it seems to shine above the rest.
You're the face before the cameras,
The smile i'd like to earn.

The closest thing to perfect,
In a hollywood to burn.
You're the beauty that is deeper,
Than eyes can merely see.
The closest thing to perfect.
But the farthest thing from me.


I'd love to be,
The shoulder that you cry on.
I'd love to be,
The friend you call when things are great.


You're the dream that hasn't ended,
And I'm still anxious for rest.
Your words they seem to hang above my head.
You're the bud before the flower,
Unfurls into full bloom.

Captivating beauty,
But it maybe all too soon.
You're the song that writes a story,
But leaves a lot to read.
The closest thing to perfect,
But the farthest thing from me.



And like I really deserve a chance to,
Sit across the table,
And tell you that I think you're wonderful.
And I think you're something special.
I guess this is my only chance to,
Say I wish I knew you,
Because I'm sure you're wonderful,
If I'd get to know you

Post

My tears run down like razorblades
And no, I'm not the one to blame
It's you ' or is it me?
And all the words we never say
Come out and now we're all ashamed
And there's no sense in playing games
When you've done all you can do

But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back
But it's over

I lose myself in all these fights
I lose my sense of wrong and right
I cry, I cry
It's shaking from the pain that's in my head
I just wanna crawl into my bed
And throw away the life I led
But I won't let it die, but I won't let it die

But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever

It's not over, it's not over, it's never over
Unless you let it take you
It's not over, it's not over, it's not over
Unless you let it break you
It's not over

Post

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part

You roll out of bed and down on your knees
and for a moment you can hardly breathe
Wondering was she really here
Is she standing in my room?

No, she's not
cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The giving up is the hardest part

She takes you in with her crying eyes
then all at once you have to say goodbye
wondering could you stay my love


will you wake up by my side?

No, she can't
cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.

Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my, roses in my hands?
Would you get them if I did?

No, you won't
Cause you're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
the waking up is the hardest part

Post

Dear you.

I hope you still know that you mean the universe and the stars to me, you mean the sun and the moon and the colour pink to me. and i would never even dream of intentionally hurting you in anyway.

i still love you, and please don't go.
i know i don't really show much love and i don't say loveydovey stuff. but its a whole different story in my heart and head (especially).

so,

would you stay?







Then came the darkness, the hurt, the hatred,
i've never really been told such harsh words directly,

and for one awful moment,
i realised that could lose a friend if i didn't do anything.

Post

Post

Dear Dayna,

as im typing this, my dad is coming down the stairs rushing me to get outta the house. see, i'm going to your birthday party now! i just wanna say, i'll miss you so frigging much and please don't go? :( and i'll forever remember all our handbell experiences, loooooong smes, and bitching at ALOT of ppl (hint hint) :D i love you dearly, you're one of a kind.

don't go, please?

cya dayna, in like, 15 mins time :)

i love you! and i'll be continuing this when i get back from your party.




muah!
hohum,
bly <3

Post

Was it you who spoke the words that,
things would happen but not to me
Oh things are gonna happen naturally
Oh taking your advice I'm looking on the bright side
And balancing the whole thing


The love that i love

blah.

has something changed?

yes? no? i don't know?

i can feel it, i think you can too,

what's changed?

Remember we'd be up all night
Talking 'til the morning light, yeah
Like the way it used to be
Those simple days
Just you and me, mmmm

I see ya baby I know
What's on your mind
'Cause you look like you've
Got something to say

I may not say those words anymore
But maybe it just ain't my way

You ask me do I love you but...

Do you remember
Why I walked on water for you

Do you remember
My first steps on the moon

Have you ever wondered why
I gave three wishes to you
You asked the question
But the answer lies
In you, in you
The answer lies in you

will i ever, ever, ever get sick of friends?

haha i don't think so.
its bloody nice to watch(:



you ask me if i love you but

Post

haha today was relatively fun!
i got 94 on my bowling game :D

hahaaa :D




after long hours spent with texts, a girl needs to pamper herself, like watching non-stop friends on youtube with a princessy mug of cocoa, curled up in her teddybear quilt, watching the stars at as she waits for the drama to start.

i've been experiencing vertigo,
i wonder why?

:




ho hum (:

Post

Lie to me, lie to me, lie to me, lie to me, Lie to me, lie to me, lie to me, lie to me



I just wanna be numb
I don't wanna feel a thing
I don't want reality
Actually, reality stinks


How about we just pretend
That your cellphone didn't even ring
And that I wasn't on the other side of the door
Listening to everything, tell me another lie



I don't wanna know what I know to be true
What I need you to do, tell me another lie

I don't wanna know what I know to be true
What I need you to do, tell me another lie
I don't wanna know what I know to be true
What I need you to do, tell me another lie
I don't wanna know what I know to be true
What I need you to do, tell me another lie

lie to me, lie to me, lie to me, lie

blah

Post

um. you 2, are.. perfect, for.. each other.




i guess.
i feel like crying.
so what.. am i?

Post

Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My my, just how much I've missed you

Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go?
Mamma mia, now I really know,
My my, I could never let you go




i didn't know waiting could be this hard,
this long..
its like time hasn't even passed at all,
i feel so irritated.
can we just fast foward to ()


gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
:(

Post

one year has gone, passed, ended ;

somehow i think so many things have changed,

and so many things have just stayed constant.

whatever, i mean,

if you really like whatever you long for,

why'd you still hanging around here?

i for one, know about what you've been doing secretly.

hide, don't hide, i can figure out that intention of yours,

and i'm truly, truly sad.

and shut up, stop saying its because of me.

why didn't you just go with whatever you were gonna do,

and stop trying to be happy and make me happy, while doing secret things.

i'm sorry.

i thought i was happy.

i thought we were happy.

i guess, not?

happy birthday, to me.

its sad,

rather sad.

Post

As I'm staring through this fire,
it's too late to make you mine,
so far from where we started, so far from what we wanted
and as both our worlds fall down,
we get lost and we get found
so far from where we started, so far from what we wanted.

I've made mistakes that I can't erase,
I've made mistakes.

If I had the money honey
would you
love me,
love me,
love me,

if I wasn't just somebody like me
(like me)

If I had the money honey
would you
love me,
love me,
love me,

if I wasn't just somebody like me
(like me)

I've made mistakes that I can't erase,
I've made mistakes.






hi.
bye.

attend my funeral,
depends on how many days it is usually after a death.
should be.. 4th oct?

cuz im dying on the first.
you can leave your presents in
my big pink coffin.




yeah im fat,
ugly,
obnoxious.


and you're not.
you're meant to be.
wohoo.



stuck up.

Post

It's hard to say our love had it's place
But the time is over,
It ran its course
I can't let it go on knowing
That you're relying on me
When I'm relying on you


Pieces of you
Is what I'll hold on to
When the times get tough
When my luck runs dry
Pieces of you
Is what'll get me through
When the times get tough
When my luck runs dry
I'm sorry that today is that day
I'm sorry but it's better this way


We fell in love, now we fall apart
All alone you always amazed me
But I, I Can't let it go on knowing
That you're relying on me when I'm relying on you


I want you to know
If it was meant to be
Where we left off
Is fine with me
I'll miss everything
Cherish the memories
That one time
You were mine


Pieces of you
Is what I'll hold on to
When the times get tough
When my luck runs dry
Pieces is what'll get me through
When the time get tough...
I'll miss, I'll miss
I will miss everything about you
I will miss everything about you
I will miss everything





hey bitch,
you're one lucky slut.
cuz i give up.

Post

Do you hear me?
I'm talking to you
Across the water
Across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky
Oh my and baby I'm trying

Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ohhhohhhohhhohhohhohhhohh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you, I promise you I will

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday


figurative speech, take note.




if you haven't figured,
i'm hiatus-ing, again.

haha and well,
i'm not lucky.
the song's retarded,
and it just keep going on,
and on,
and on

in my head for the whole of today.

hey,
i'm sorry i'm just
stupid, fat, obnoxious, ugly, loudmouth.


so just get away from me,
if i disgust you that much.

and yes, don't chose me.


just leave me, if you think i'm not good enough for you.

which i'm obviously not.




i'm sorry i'm not
pretty,
attractive,
graceful,
soft-spoken,


and i'm sorry you think i'm damn ugly.

so if i'm really not worth anything,
to you,


just leave me.



i won't cope well,
i won't be fine without you.

but since i disgust you so much,

since you think i'm too fat, too ugly, too whatever,

just leave me ;





cuz i know you want to.




oh and i'm sorry that all i've done meant nothing,

i'm sorry i gave you my heart,
and i gave you my love,

when all i got was being judged.



just leave me,



i really, really, really know you want to.

i'm just me,

i'm just bel.

deal with it,

if not,

then kill me before you go.

i won't survive if you go anyway.

just kill me now.



hurt ; shaken ; agonising pain

never thought,

i would disgust you so much,

till you made tht decision.

haha i disgust you right.

nice to know

Post

All the questions in my head
Are from my heart instead
Be real to me now
That's all I'm asking

Be real to me now






Priscilla Tan
1. Because you were bubbly and you'd make a good friend. i could tell from FIRST GLANCE, HAH! :D
2. Nichole Nordeman - Brave
3. You like the Jonas Brothers
4. Sec 1 camp? when you "paid" me to "move my hands" or like move my hands like wiping windows like that.
5. Kangeroo (idk how to spell :D) and uh starfruit HAHAHA.
6. How do you never stop talking? :D





haha.
okay.
violin kills me.

it irrates me.





study study study.
is that all?

Post

You and I will ride tonight
'Till the past is out of sight
We don't have to look back now

From the dark into the light
We can leave it all behind
We can stand together, we don't have to look back now





just keep swimming swimming swimming,
just keep swimming.






you're just another one.
another one of them,
that kind.

you were just testing me,
finding a reaction,
trying to spot any glimpse of euphoric expression.

well, excuse me,
to hell with cheering you up,
to hell with advising you.

screw me for trusting you,
screw it,
DAMN.







oys.




just get out of my sight.
you irk me.





So we'll let go of everything we've ever known

Post

oys, today, oys TODAY!

i have a date today!

i have a date today with my mama!

hahahahahaha.

(gramdmother)

's really cool cuz she's treating me to a movie.

and we're going to amk hub.

for like my 100th time.

okay oh did i mention?

my mama got me into a NC16 movie.

HAHAHAHAHA yes she was nagging and bargaining with the stupid ticket seller

at cathay.

and she really rocks my socks okay

i love her to bits and pieces!

hahahahahahahaha.

sigh.

Do you remember the time we used to spend

Doing what we used to do back then

But the only thing that’s different now

You won’t admit your love, that’s if you’ll love me again

Everytime I close my eyes

The visions reappear

And when I wake up your not there

Could you fall in love with me again

Cause all I see is you

Everytime I close my eyes

When you look at me I wish you were mine once again

Cause now I love you more than I did then

And I’m hopin’ that we can mend it all back

That when we’re together the spark is there

And the flame comes back

'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life

i need to go out soon,

study date with love tmr!

cya

hugs and kisses

Post

...................................THIS IS MY COUNTRY



.......................................... THIS IS MY FLAG

. .....................................THIS IS MY FUTURE

. .......................................THIS IS MY LIFE

....................................... THIS IS MY 'FAMILY'

. .............................THESE ARE MY FRIENDS (:

. ....................................WE ARE SINGAPORE

......................................... SINGAPOREANS

BELATED NATIONAL DAY POST.

:D

haha back to mugging

hugs and kisses to all

Post

Emotions are merely symptoms. They've no relevance in themselves.

Antagonism is a part of us, we fight for something we love and whatever fights against this, we deject and oppose against with hate. Not always of course. One 'fights' to make everything appear consistent with one's sense of 'order'.

But as we exercise our human rationality more deeply, we become capable of a benevolent and thoughtful kind of love, in which we go beyond our own needs and wants and love what is good for others and not just ourselves. We do so through the virtues of justice and friendship. This kind of love was called "amor benevolentiae."

amor benevolentiae,

xoxo

with this,

i shall depart from my ever inconsistent blogging,

and turn my unruly focus,

to books and starbucks and what not,

in an extent to raise my grades,

so long.

oh and if you didn't understand the first 2-3 paragraphs of this post,

you're either jia xuan or sylvia

or you're not an intellectual like me,

who uses profound analytical thinking,

deeply involved in abstract erudite ideas and theories.

oh yeah and the previous 2 lines were from wiki.

hah.

hugs and kisses

Post

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.








on a lighter note,
i think you've made your decision,
but i haven't.








hugs and kisses

Post

And yesterday night i had a dream,
it puts "You had me at hello" into new perspective.






I hate the ending myself,
but it started with an alright scene.







Today,
i lost it,
i let go,
i gave up.


funny right,
the bel you know won't give up,
if its something she really really wants.







i guess you're not something i really really want.




i was always deluding myself right?

Post

today,

droned on and on and

on.

held it all in,

pushed myself,

not yet to my limit,

yet fearing it.

bitter,

sweet,

bittersweet.

ironic, no?

shows
how much i just can't let you go.

no,

i watched it rain,

saw the lightning,

heard the thunder,

oh the sky,

i wonder what the sky felt.

so vast,

so wide,

without a doubt,

so amazingly beautiful at times.

yet depressingly,

i don't know.

if i let go,

there's just no one,

who catch me like you do,

you are my only, my only

one

Post

today,
today,
today.



today was the last time i walked from
suntec to city hall.
drums were halted, just for this period,

on the way,
i saw this
pencilcase.

i stopped, i stared.
well, i was so overwhelmed with thoughts.
should i buy? should i not?
will it even be put to use?


with all my might,
i don't even know whether it was my
brain,
or my heart,

that willed me to get out of the shop.


5 steps - and i was out,
my eyes.. brimming? with tears.

yeah, i know, just a pencil case.

'walk, bel, just walk' ,
i told myself.


i forced my brain to its limits,
set my heart on fire,

continued to walk further, and further away,
from the shop.







btw, i never said i was buying the pencil case for myself.






muah?
nah.




hugs and kisses,
no.

Post

Say you love me every waking moment,
turn my head with talk of summertime...
Say you need me with you now and always...
Promise me that all you say is true
that's all I ask of you


All I want is freedom,
a world with no more night
and you, always beside me, to hold me and to hide me...


Love me - that's all I ask of you
Anywhere you go let me go too
Love me - that's all I ask of you...




ho hum,
ho hum ho hum ho hum.



ly,
love me, that's all i ask of you.







loves and misses,
hugs and kisses

Post

ho hum,

<3

today is so very cold,

was, so very cold.

its coming to an end,

today.

day after day, after day.

all over again,

all over my pain.

as i watched the rain,

there was no gain.

ho hum,

its time to tell you.

hugs and kisses

Post

HO HUMM <33


okay lets see, about 30 minutes ago,
i was in the car.


woah.



okay then suddenly it stopped.
stalled.
stationed.


wohoooo.
so in the car, it was like super silent,
and my dad was trying to restart the engine,
while my bro and mother were for once, at a loss of words.



hahahahhahaha and IRONICALLY,
the stupid car died right outside the petrol station.
(caltex, i remember :D)


wait, its outside,
not inside.


so, i amusingly watch my family push the car into the petrol station,
while i was just pretending to be a un-helpful passer-by, standing at the side walk,
staring at them hahahahaha :D


oh oh oh,
and 2 indian guys went to help them!
i shall refrain from using the B word.



okay so now i officially declare,
i am not racist.


hahahahahaha wait,
i never was to begin with.





2nd post of the night,

it's not that bright,
still, i'm so right,
you went away and i lost my light.




ho hum!











hugs and kissess

Post

hey now, hey now, hey now, hey now,
ya-a-ow.


HO HUM <3
this emo post is just for bindhu unnniiiiiiiiii,
aka, bin bin.






Where, where are the stars?
The one that we used to call ours
Can't imagine it now
We used to laugh 'til we fell down.

The secrets we had, are now in the past
From something to nothing, tell me.

How did we lose our way?
It's hard to remember
All that we shared

Now we both have separate lives
From lovers to strangers, now alone
There's no one catching my fall
No one to hear my call

It's like I never loved you at all.



Now you're so far away
And I see our star is fading
One too many times
Guess it just got tired of waiting round.

The nights that we thought,
if these walls could talk
From something to nothing..





okay end of emo post.
ho hummmm :D


hahahaha okay i have to hiatus
for like, a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time.



blame my father.
hah.


ho hum,
ily.





hugs and kisses

Post

On the outisde.
I'm trying.
'Cause inside.
I'm dying.

This broken heart was stronger then.
Now I cant stand to part with this.
This broken heart.




you know what,
its time to gather back all my Heaven-Buddies.
i forgot who's which,
but i can remember.. a few though.


its time to make new ones!
do you wanna be my Heaven Buddy?
hahahahaha we can..
we can..

we can go jamming in Heaven!
we can go shopping in Heaven!
hahahaha and and and
if you become my Heaven Buddy,

i'd book a date and we can go watch a movie
or go to the beach..



if there is a beach in Heaven.



hahahahahahaha
i sound so despo for a Heaven Buddy.

actually i've got a few alr.
but i want more :D



we all always want moooooooore!



ho-hummmmmmm.

oh oh oh wanna know something?


my teacher called my mother.
HAAHAHAHAHAHHAHA FUNNY RIGHT.



its okay if you don't get the joke :D
cuz you're just dumb :D


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.





ho hummmm ((:






hugs and kisses!



MUAKS HAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

YOU JUST GOT KISSED BY BEL




HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA










MUAKS!





AND AGAIN :D






hugs and kisses

Post

hello(:

i had a lot of things to say.
but now i'm pretty much speechless.


oys i'm ruining the mood of my update.




OKAY I SHALL TALK ABOUT TODAY.

today is okay,
today was okay,
whatever.



Dysphoric etymologically becomes euphoric,
you enrapture me.



sigh.
my blogging is failing,
i need another hiatus?
i need motivation, inspiration.



Its like i never loved you at all





hugs and kisses

Post

i feel that when i blog, i kinda blog alot,
and when i don't, i don't blog.

hahahahahaha,
anyway as i was saying,
MICHAEL PHELPS IS SO HOTTTTT AND AND AND
HE IS SO WHITE!


as in for a swimmer, i'd expect him to be..
tanner.


for the moment we will come,
alive,
tonight



baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, bbq on the way,
tonight.




big suprise,
i love you,
i think i really do.

i think.








do you love me too?





hugs and kisses